How to Say Goodbye to Your Brother
Joe Renegar

Get up from nothing
As you didn’t sleep the night before
Shuffle through his closet
Laugh as you decide what to dress him in
Knowing this is forbidden when he’s here
Cry as you miss him

Arrive at the funeral home
Let the smell of death
Overtake you when you step in
As you meet the undertaker
Ignore his apologies
Wanting to just get this over with

Finger through the brochure of prices
Reading it like a menu
Wishing to get the best for him
Knowing you can’t afford it
Pick out the black marble headstone
Try to sum up his life to fit on it

Follow the undertaker into the next room
See all the coffins displayed like a game show
Fill with anger as he sales pitches you
“ This one is comfortable, lined in blue, oak, and brass handled”
Wonder if comfortable even matters to your brother
Wonder about your brother
Cry as you miss him

Guests arrive to say goodbye
Slip into the back
Begin to put his life on paper
Try to find the words
Know that there are none

Listen to the prayers and kind words
Hear the silence
Read his eulogy
Unhappy with what you wrote
If you could only think, it’d be better

Stand next to your brother
Receive hugs and more apologies
Let your friends cry on your shoulders
Clear the room
Wanting your brother’s last moments

See him posed in the coffin you picked
Notice the makeup
Applied to cover the bruises on his face
From when he fell

Touch your brother
Feel the cold skin
Hard like concrete
Pale in color
Caress him anyway

Whisper memories to him
Tell him you love him
Cry because you’ll miss him
Watch your tears moisten his skin
Kiss your brother goodbye

Listen for the click of the coffin
Shutting your brother out forever
Cry as he’s lowered into the ground
Try to understand
Know that you never will

About the Author:
This poem was written in English 101: Composition I, as a creative handling of a process analysis (or “how to” paper) assignment.

© 2005 Lincoln College
Copyright reverts to individual authors upon posting here.

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